Yea. Today is a bad day indeed. Locked my keys in my car at work. It's hot. It took the guy half an hour to get my car open. He kept saying "This is NOT going to be the one" meaning the one that he couldn't get. Eventually he got it and a $20 tip for it being a bitch of a car. There are so many questions that I want answered, but there is no one left who can. If you were a mother of two and were dying of cancer and your son only ever saw you once in the hospital and was never there because he was scared, would you hate him. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you mom. I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry. It's been eight years, you'd think I could handle this day better but I can't. I survived work bearly without anyone seeing me. I don't know about the rest of the day. I just know I don't want to be alone. Those of you who have my cell phone number feel free to call if you like. Who knows what state I'll be in...

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